Movies about love triangles are a dime a dozen. Seriously. You’ve seen one, you’ve basically seen them all, right? But then there’s You, Me and Him. It’s that 2017 British indie film that sneaked onto screens and sort of stayed in the back of everyone's minds because it didn't play by the usual rules. It wasn't just another rom-com. It was messy. It was loud. It was deeply, weirdly human.
Honestly, the setup sounds like the start of a bad joke. Two women in a committed relationship both end up pregnant at the same time, but one of them is carrying the child of their annoying, "arrested development" neighbor.
It sounds chaotic because it is.
Directed by Daisy Aitkens, the film stars Lucy Punch, Faye Marsay, and David Tennant. While it didn't break the global box office, it carved out a niche for itself by tackling something most movies are too scared to touch: the absolute disaster that is modern family planning when your life isn't a Hallmark card.
The Messy Reality of You Me and Him
The movie centers on Olivia and Alex. Olivia is the "responsible" one, a career-driven woman in her 40s played with a frantic, high-strung energy by Lucy Punch. Alex is younger, more "free-spirited"—which is often code for "hasn't quite figured out how to be an adult yet"—played by Faye Marsay.
They’re a couple. They’re in love. But they’re at totally different stages of life.
When they decide to have a baby, the friction is immediate. Then enters John, played by David Tennant. He’s the "Him" in You, Me and Him. He’s the neighbor. He’s annoying. He’s grieving. He’s also, quite unexpectedly, the biological father of Alex’s baby after a one-night stand born out of a very bad day and far too much wine.
It's a nightmare scenario.
But what the film does well—and what people often get wrong about it—is that it doesn't treat this like a tragedy. It treats it like a puzzle. Life happens. People make massive, life-altering mistakes. The movie asks: Okay, now what? How do you build a family when the blueprint you were following just got shredded?
Why David Tennant’s Performance Anchors the Chaos
Most people know Tennant from Doctor Who or Broadchurch. He usually plays the smartest guy in the room or the most tortured. In You, Me and Him, he’s... kind of a loser? But a lovable one. He’s a man who has lost his wife and is desperately clinging to any sense of purpose.
His character, John, could have been a villain. He could have been the "interloper" who ruins a lesbian relationship. Instead, Aitkens writes him with a surprising amount of empathy. He isn't trying to steal Alex away from Olivia. He’s just a guy who realized he’s going to be a dad and realizes he has absolutely no idea how to do that while respectng the boundaries of a couple that didn't really want him in the picture.
The chemistry between the three is what makes it work. It’s snappy.
"I'm the father," John says. "You're a mistake," is the vibe he gets back.
It’s brutal. It’s funny. It feels real because real life is rarely polite when things go sideways.
What Most People Get Wrong About the Film’s Themes
If you look at the surface, you might think You, Me and Him is a "lesbian movie." It’s not. Not really. I mean, yes, the protagonists are gay, but the movie isn't about them being gay. It’s about the universal anxiety of parenthood.
- The fear of being "too old" to start a family.
- The insecurity of being the "younger" partner who feels pressured to grow up.
- The weird, social awkwardness of co-parenting with someone you don't actually like.
A lot of critics at the time of release compared it to the works of Richard Curtis, the guy behind Love Actually. But that’s a bit of a stretch. Curtis’s world is polished and often shiny. You, Me and Him is greyer. It’s more British in its cynicism. It acknowledges that sometimes, love isn't enough to pay the bills or fix a broken trust.
The Production Background and Daisy Aitkens
This was Daisy Aitkens' feature directorial debut. That matters. It was produced by Georgia Tennant (David’s wife), and you can feel that it was a "passion project" made within a tight-knit circle of friends.
There’s a specific kind of intimacy in the filmmaking. It was shot on a modest budget, and it shows in a good way. The locations feel lived-in. The costumes look like things people actually wear, not like they came straight from a wardrobe trailer. This groundedness helps balance the somewhat "wacky" premise. If the setting felt fake, the plot would feel like a soap opera. Because the setting feels real, the plot feels like a weird thing that happened to your cousin.
The Cultural Impact of the "Double Pregnancy" Trope
The "double pregnancy" plot point is a bold choice. In the medical world, this is rare but not impossible in the context of IVF or "oops" moments. In the film, it serves as a pressure cooker.
Olivia is struggling with the physical and emotional toll of IVF. She’s invested money, time, and her sanity into this. Then Alex gets pregnant by accident. It creates an immediate, stinging resentment.
This is where the movie gets brave. It allows Olivia to be unlikeable. She’s jealous of her own partner. That’s a dark, complicated emotion that most "feel-good" movies stay away from. But it’s a very human one. We like to think we’d be happy for our partners no matter what, but if they achieved effortlessly what we’ve been killing ourselves to get? Yeah, there’s going to be some bitterness.
How to Watch It Today
You can usually find You, Me and Him on streaming platforms like Amazon Prime or Apple TV, depending on your region. It hasn't had a massive 4K remaster or anything—it’s a quiet film. But for anyone navigating the weird world of non-traditional families, it’s almost essential viewing.
It doesn't give you a "happily ever after" in the traditional sense. It gives you a "we’re going to try and make this work" ending.
Actionable Takeaways for Your Next Movie Night
If you're planning to dive into You, Me and Him, here’s how to get the most out of it:
- Watch it for the subtext. Pay attention to how the characters use humor to mask their fear. It’s a very British trait that the film nails.
- Compare it to modern dramedies. Think about shows like Workin' Moms or Catastrophe. You’ll see the DNA of those shows in this film’s DNA.
- Don't expect a rom-com. If you go in expecting The Holiday, you’ll be disappointed. Go in expecting a character study about three people who are stuck with each other.
- Research the "Tennant connection." It’s fun to see David Tennant working with his wife, Georgia, who also appears in the film and produced it. Their real-life chemistry as a creative team adds a layer of warmth to the production.
The film serves as a reminder that family isn't just about blood or marriage licenses. It’s about who shows up when the morning sickness starts and who stays when the reality of raising a child sets in. It’s about the "You," the "Me," and even the "Him" you never expected to be there.
That’s the beauty of it. It’s a mess. Just like us.
